How to Have a Traditional Chinese Wedding
Nine Ways to Recognize Chinese Heritage in a Wedding Celebration
Jul 23, 2009
From Chinese marriage letters to the six etiquettes, the lucky color red to "double happiness," these customs will help celebrate a traditional Chinese wedding.
Want to add a touch of Chinese tradition to a wedding ceremony in which one or both partners wish to celebrate Chinese heritage? It's not that hard to do, even if an actual connection to China stretches one or more generations back.
Read over the list of Chinese wedding customs below. Then, consider adding to the wedding celebration one or more of them in a way consistent with the overall wedding style.
Chinese Wedding Customs
- Three letters. In traditional Chinese marriages, the nuptials are arranged through three formal letters sent between the families of bride and groom. First, a letter is sent to the bride’s family, accompanied by gifts, confirming that the marriage will take place. Second, a “gift letter”—in fact, a detailed list of traditional wedding gifts it accompanies—goes to the bride’s family. Third, on the wedding day, the bride’s family sends to that of the groom a letter confirming that the bride is becoming a member of their family.
- Six etiquettes. These half-dozen customs must be observed: a request of marriage, verbally delivered to the bride’s family by an elderly spokeswoman hired by the groom’s family; a confirmation of birth dates by a fortune-teller, to ensure that the match is propitious; some token gifts for the bride’s family, accompanying the gift letter (see above); some formal gifts for the bride’s family to confirm the engagement, including offerings of savory and sweet foods for the spirits of ancestors; selection of an auspicious wedding date by the fortune-teller; and a wedding ceremony held in the groom’s family home, with the couple dressed in red for good luck.
- Red for good luck. As well as the bride’s and groom’s outfits, the color red appears on invitations, guest books, and other items to bring good fortune.
- Shuang xi. The Chinese character pronounced “she” means happiness, and when doubled, to make shuang xi, it holds forth the promise of double happiness for both bride and groom. The doubled character is a prominent decoration at the wedding ceremony or party.
- Gifts for the groom. Before the wedding, the bride presents the groom with a range of gifts for their new home together, including kitchen equipment and bed linens, as well as jewelry.
- Bridal bed. Several days before the wedding, a man and a woman who have both had happy marriages are hired to prepare the marital bed, positioning it in the most auspicious place in the bedroom and decorating its fresh linens with fruit to signify a fruitful life together.
- Hair combing. On the eve of the wedding, the hair of both the bride and the groom is combed four times: once for a committed marriage, one for a harmonious life together, once to bring many male progeny, and a final time for a prosperous and long life together.
- Tea ceremony. Bride and groom together perform a traditional tea ceremony, brewing a pot and serving first her parents and grandparents, then his.
- The bride’s return. Traditionally, the bride returns to visit her parents three days after the wedding, bringing with her food and gifts to pay them tribute.
May married life together bring great joy! (Looking for more wedding traditions? Check out How to Have a Hawaiian Wedding or How to Have a Traditional Hindu Wedding. Looking for the perfect ring? See How to Judge a Diamond’s Quality and Shape.)
The copyright of the article How to Have a Traditional Chinese Wedding in Wedding Traditions & Etiquette is owned by Norman Kolpas. Permission to republish How to Have a Traditional Chinese Wedding in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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