Gone are the days when being a bridesmaid three times meant one would never wear white. Now the role of having the bride’s back is a sweet opportunity to affirm just what a sister, best friend, college roommate, or cousin means. But, just what is the role of a bridesmaid before, during, and after the wedding, and how can it can stay syrupy without going all sour grapes and “I quit!”?
Never complain about the dress. Nope, it’s not reusable. Nope, it’s not cute either. However a true bridesmaid wears it anyway. Chances are the bride actually thinks the gown is beautiful and is not maliciously attempting to look good in comparison. After all, who looks prettier because they are surrounded by a garland of garish ice-blue taffeta princesses?
Always take the bride’s side. Sure, the napkins would look better trimmed in gold. But, it was her bossy aunt’s suggestion. It’s the bride’s big day and she needs to have one safe person (other than the groom) to and at whom she can threaten to elope, vent, and throw tulle. The bridesmaid offers no opinion; she just smiles, nods, and books yet another spa appointment.
Cry. Yes, it’s a joyful day but some major tears will be spilled. When a girlfriend wants to sit around and lament over that fact that her second cousin once removed that she met once randomly at summer camp won’t be the cake attendant, a bridesmaid grabs the Kleenex and joins the catharsis. A good bridesmaid understands that the idea that everything is changing is the real reason for the tears, but she doesn’t say so. She simply books an appointment at the department store make-up counter for a waterproof mascara hunt.
Laugh. This is a wedding! It should be fun! No wedding party is void of a class clown. Since “the one” has been found now is the time for all those jokes about all the bad dates that came before. Try on all those hideous bridal gowns that no one ever buys. Tell every single inside joke in rapid succession.
Throw the shower. Nothing is worst than when a random person from work jumps on the bridal shower bandwagon first. This is the bridesmaid’s duty.
Make the wedding favors. Bridesmaid etiquette says grab those chocolate kisses, tissue, and pipe cleaners and start making those cutesy little roses that stay at the back of the guest’s freezer for the next six months.
Be first on the floor no matter the song. At the reception the bride’s posse should be first on the dance floor. No bride wants to feel that her guests are not enjoying themselves. Break the first song jitters and get the party started. Grab your camera and snap some of those crazy candid pictures that will be worth treasuring.
Let go. So the open door policy is no longer in existence and her having to check with her husband means that the spontaneity of accidental road trips to New York is a thing of the past. She is still that crazy chic you want at your infamous Taco’s and Tequila Tuesdays. Just not every week, please.
Hold on. Being a Mrs. doesn’t disqualify your newly married friend from girl’s night out. Once she comes out of her satin haze she’ll wonder where her girlfriends went and what has been happening in their world. So a good friend, which is what a bridesmaid is on the most basic level, is waiting with all the lets-have-lunch juicy information.
